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Saturday, November 21, 2009

Going on a cruise!

Yes folks, it's that time of year again...

The weather turns colder.
You long for fun in the sun...

And all you can think of is that SouthWest Airlines commercial "Wanna get away?".

Well, this year you can!







A friend forwarded an email to me about this new type of adventure cruise.






















To The Point Cruise Lines is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise, along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia!
Board our luxury cruise ships in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea, and disembark in Mombasa , Kenya seven adrenaline-charged days later. Reservations start at only $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (verandah complete with bench rest).

You'll relax like never before!

That's because you are welcome to bring your own arsenal with you. If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard
Master Gunsmith. Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!

But the best fun of all, of course, is...








Pirate Target Practice!

The object of the cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates!

Customer Testimonials!

"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun.
This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family" -- Fred D., Cincinnati , OH

"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L., Bethesda , MD



But wait! There's more!


Equipment Rentals:
Including this beauty!
Twin mounted mini-guns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!


Additional Services Include:


• Need a spotter? Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour.
(spotting scope included, but gratuities are not)
• Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment - and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am
• Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar

Satisfaction Guaranteed!

You will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombasa ..
How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia , thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever. In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships."


We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast . At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five
minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shore side to attract maximum attention.


ACT NOW! And receive this special offer!

Reserve now and be automatically entered to win a 5 minute time slot on the Captain's own Twin Browning 50 Caliber M2HB installation!










Ahhh, if only it were truly possible....

2 comments:

Sam November 21, 2009 at 10:34 PM  

Funny stuff Doug... but I think I'd rather become a Browns fan than go on this cruise.

Gimpdiggity November 22, 2009 at 2:16 AM  

I read about this a few weeks ago. Crazy.

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