Jets vs Patriots

Credit where credit is due: Stolen Borrowed from Nigel Buggers on Facebook who probably borrowed it from somebody else who probably . . .



And, I'm still standing by my "P" bowl prediction of no birds and Pittsburgh vs Packers.

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A Little Christmas Humor

A Russian couple looked out their window Christmas Eve and the wife said, “Look Rudi, it’s going to snow!”

“No” said the husband, “it is going to rain.”

Wife: “It’s cold and windy outside. It’s going to snow I tell you.”

Husband: “No dear, it’s going to rain.”

Wife: “Rudolph, how can you say that?”

Husband: “Because, Rudolph, the Red, knows rain. Dear.”

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Holiday Stress

Thanks to the TSA, it looks like Holiday Travel will have a few extra perks this year...



















All strips courtesy TSA and Time.com Cartoons of the Week.

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Little Things

We have a 4 year old.

Being the youngest, he learns a lot from his older siblings.

We, as responsible parents, try to limit, or at least filter, the “things” he picks up on.

But still, there are times when I have to look at him and be amazed at how he figured certain things out.

Like the other day he wanted to play star wars on the Xbox, (yes the old version) but still a whole lot of fun to play.


This 4 year old of mine has learned some key strategic tactics.

Like the value of height in the playing/battle field.

Line of sight.

Hiding (out of the Line of sight).

And camping . . . (that little bugger)


It also amazes me how a 4 year old can often beat his dad at a stupid video game.

I think I have to teach him one more tactic.

Letting the other guy win.

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Randy Moss, Brett Favre and Jenn Sterger

Randy Moss on wondering what kind of pass that Brett Favre will be making . . .

And buying a new pair of gloves . . .

It’s not the ball that bothers me . . .
It where the hand that threw it has been . . .




Randy Moss is now worried that Brett Favre has his number . . .

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Fun Strip Fridays - Email

OK, so yes this is a sports and stocks blog but a friend of mine sent me one of those viral picture emails with cute and funny animal captions and I just felt the urge to share. And I actually found one that kind of relates to money at the end.

So, Enjoy.

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Sports this week . . .

Seems some of the sports headlines this week were about anything but sports . . .

Lebron can have his cake and eat it too!



Anywhere he wants,



except on ESPN.




Pitino has 15 seconds of fame








and a short shot clock…

Fat Albert,


still is . . .





And apparently dropping a deuce didn’t help clear the air either…

Terrell Owens has a new theme song


Baby, if you've ever wondered,
Wondered whatever became of me,
I'm living somewhere in Cincinnati,
Just Ochocinco, the Bengals, and me.



Got kind of tired packing and unpacking,
Town to town and the reality tv dial
Romo, Trent and Donovan weren’t meant to be,
So Carson throw to me once in awhile.

I'm at the Bengals in Cincinnati..

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OK, This is Funny

I came accross this while searching for "stuff" on kentucky sports. Kind of a tie in to the Wizards getting the 1st pick in the draft and possibly getting John Wall this year.

Perhaps you've seen it. Perhaps not.


Kentucky Violated NCAA Rules While Recruiting Basketball-Playing Dog

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Fun Strip Friday

There was this Phineas and Ferb page on facebook that had a joke contest earlier this week.

If you know the old golf joke about the golfer pausing for a moment of silence as the hearse went by, then you know which joke won.

I thought it was lame.

Here are some of the others that I liked better...



A man was taking a survey and asked a woman this question:
Man: Do you have sex?
Woman: Excuse me, That’s my business!
Man: Oh, so you’re a professional...



How many ‘D’s are there in Indiana Jones?
First person answered: 1
Correct!
Next person answered: 1
Correct again!
Next person answered: 33
Huh? how in the world did you ever come up with that?
Da DaDaDaa dadada Da dadadaa dadadaaa ...



A husband and wife were vacationing in the holy land when the wife suddenly died.
The mortician said we can send her back with you to the states for $5,000 or
We can give her a beautiful burial here in the holy land for $150.
The husband thought about this for a while and said, send her back for $5000.
The mortician asked why?
Well, a long time ago you guys buried someone here and he came back to life.
I just don’t want to take the chance...



A brunet walked up to a magical mirror and proclaimed that she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
At this, the mirror swooshed her into a vortex because she was lying.
A redhead walked up to the mirror and said that she was the most beautiful!
Same thing, swoosh!
A blond walked up to the mirror and said,
I think ...
Swoosh!

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Redskin Acres

Ever since coming to town, Shanahan and Allen have said they have a plan.

Well, today, we announce "The Plan".

The Washington Redskins plan on opening a fully functional and feature rich retirement and mainstream acclimation facility called Redskin Acres.

Redskins Acres: Will be a state of the art NFL Retirement Facility whose main goal will be to successfully transition aging and retiring NFL stars back into mainstream society.

Coach Shanahan and GM Allen stated that this facility and will have specialized training programs to not only aid aging stars back into society (avoiding the ever too popular drug induced rap sheet syndrome so often experienced by other previously retired NFL players) While, at the same time, players in the transition program will have the opportunity to provide an invaluable mentoring service to the teams younger players.

This is a "win-win" situation and the Redskin Organization is proud to be leading the way for future retired NFL Stars.

And there will be additional programs starting up in the near future.

Dan Snyder added that the team is working closely with the NFL and the newly formed government health care program to provide even greater benefits to facility patients players.

Such benefits include but are not limited to:

The HTC Enrichment Program - Head Trauma and Concussion.
The DADDI Syndrome - Delusional Attitude and Diva Dynamics Integration.

NFL players are said to be enthusiastic about the new facility and program. In fact many have signed up with the Reskins for early treatment and program participation:

Clinton Portis
Larry Johnson
Willie Parker
Donavan McNabb
Alber Haynesworth
Rex Grossman
and recently signed Joey Galloway.

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Origins

This week we celebrated my oldest daughter’s confirmation. It was a wonderful event filled with excitement, celebration, good food, good friends and good stories.

One of the better stories was told by the bishop who was visiting from Juneau Alaska.

It goes something like this . . .

A little girl asked her father, “Daddy, where did human beings come from?”
Her father said, “Well, a long time ago, God created Adam and Eve. And Adam and Eve had children, and then their children had children, and so on, and so on, and that is how you and I came into being.”

A few days later, the same little girl was helping her mother with chores, and as children often do (play questions and answers off of each parent) asked her mother the same question.

Her mom said, “Well, a long time ago, there were these monkeys, who evolved, into other types of primates, who kept evolving and so on, and so on, until eventually becoming humans as we know them today. And that is how you and I came into being.”

The little girl was truly shocked and amazed by this answer and went running to find her father.

“Daddy! Remember when I asked you the other day where we came from, and you said we came from God?”

“Yes”, said her father.

“Well, I just asked Mommy the same question and she said Monkeys! How can that be?”

“Oh” said the father. “Well, that’s easy to explain.”

“You see, when you asked me where we came from, I naturally thought about my side of the family.”

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Waiting Room

We've all been there...

It does not matter why. No matter if it is at the hospital, doctors, auto repair, or a lawyers office; we are always there because something happened, broke, or we put off too long.

It does not matter where. They all have moderately uncomfortable chairs, Muzak or infomercials, and a definite lack of reading material consisting of various entertainment magazines, auto mags (with reviews of cars I will never own)and or (God Forbid) professional trade mags.

Except, the last waiting room I was in.

Mixed in with all the other previously mentioned magazines was the February issue of Military Officer. This caught my eye first because I certainly was not expecting to see it and secondly it had a cover story about General Colin Powell. If you go to their site, you will find lots of interesting information not only about military personnel but also about many of the challenges affecting them and other Americans today, and of course, lots of great stories.

Anyway, stuck towards the back of the February Issue was a short story about Army ABC's.

Instead of hand typing it into my blog, or stepping you through how to find it (found under archives, February, page 84) online, I tried to copy it into a text format but failed, so here is a scanned image of the story. Hope it works...

ARMY ABC's

Enjoy.

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Future Stars...

Each February, hundreds of the very best college football players are invited to the NFL Scouting Combine in Indianapolis, Ind., where executives, coaches, scouts and doctors from all 32 NFL teams conduct an intense, four-day job interviews, psychological evaluations and skill tests in advance of the NFL Draft.

All totally useless.

I think an NFL "Survivor" episode/series would be more fun and valuable to watch.

What better way to get the true team, leadership and personality traits of prospective draftees then to have them in a survivor mode competing against each other and other teams to ultimately win a spot in the NFL.

Then I might actually watch it.

There is no real football game action, no real demonstration of true football talent or attitude. Nothing that brings out the competative animal in any of us.

Instead, I think teams should look for a true football animal who shows real talent, is eager to do so, displays amazing feats of agility, bursts of speed and ball handling skills.

Kind of like these real football animals...

Balance, and rad ball handling skills:




True agility and speed, not to mention great leaping and catching ability:



"No footballs were harmed during these stunts"

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On a Streak...

This is so fitting for my Fun Strip Friday theme.



Or if that does not work, here is the link!

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I am

Not going to talk about you know who and you know what...

So, for Fun Strip Friday, here is some of the other funny stuff of this week...

First off, I usually hate any rendition / remake of this song and video, but...
The Muppets do a commendable job!



Then there was Bill, Shannon "the Stalker" and the rest of the "guys" reduced to a bunch of school boys...



And last but not least, this blasphemous picture....


















As always,

Be good. Do Well. Have Fun.

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Dinner Guests

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Cartoon of the week

Thanks to Time.com

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Cooley Delivers

Chris Cooley is such a great route runner, now you can have him pack and ship your holiday presents!

It's actually a contest but you really can try and fight through the crowds and get his autograph....

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Well that's just Fine!

So the NFL has gotten around to handing out fines for the Landry - Smith - Hall incident last week.

Smith $15K
Landry $7.5K
Haynesworth $5K
Fish (not Abe Vigoda) $2K

First of all, Smith is a total JERK and $15k hardly seems enough...
Second of all, Ryan and Landry were still technically in bounds...

Dear Mr. Commissioner,

Football is a contact sport! LET THEM PLAY!!!

Third, I love hate how it took a fight, odds of 20 to 1, to even begin to get some redskins spun up to come to the aid of a fellow player.

I give Haynesworth and the defensive line a whole bunch of credit for manning up and at least putting on a good show of support. All be it a bit late...














After all, we all know that the offense can't defend anybody...

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Games of the Week

Well, the two games of this past week had to have been the Vikings Packers game;
And ; The final World Series Game.

So, in tribute to both, courtesy of the Stupid Sports Blog, I present the following...























The Vikings and Packers game had 39 Million Viewers.
Here is the breakdown of the demographics...

19 million -- Packers fans
500,000 -- Vikings fans
2 million -- Guys in Wranglers
300,000 -- Gay guys in Wranglers
2 million -- Guys in Wranglers who won't admit they're gay (overlap group of original Wranglers group)
6 million -- People who were hoping Favre would snap a bone or tear a tendon
4 million -- People who own Adrian Peterson in fantasy leagues, who were once again disappointed by Favre's short-yardage TDs
150 -- People rooting for Favre who aren't Vikings fans
150 -- People who own Favre in fantasy leagues and their starter on a bye (overlap group)
900,700 -- Gunslingers
1 -- Cyndi Lauper
1 -- Mary Jensen
1 -- Peter King
7 million -- Lazy people who couldn't find their remote




















A Tribute Song to the World Champs -
Remix BNL "IF I HAD 2 BILLION DOLLARS"...

If I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
I'd buy you players for your house
(Maybe a nice starting pitcher or first baseman)
And if I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a bullpen
(A nice reliant bridge to Mo)
If I had 2 billion dollars I'd buy your title

If I had 2 billion dollars
I'd build $5,000 seats in our yard
If I had 2 billion dollars
You could take out a loan, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had 2 billion dollars
Maybe we could put like a little tiny monument park in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like hang out with the ghosts and stuff
There would be fat guys in zubaz pants already there for us
Wearing jersey T-shirts with names on the back

They have jerseys with names on the back but the uniforms don't?
Well, can you blame 'em
Uh, yeah

If I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I'd buy you Carl Pavano
(But we'd DL him for three years because that's cruel)
And if I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic vet
(Yep, like The Rocket or Abreu)
And if I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I'd buy you Gary Sheffield's remains
(Ooh, all them crazy drug-riddled bones)
And If I had 2 million dollars I'd buy your title

If I had 2 billion dollars
We wouldn't have to worry about scouting
If I had 2 billion dollars
Now, we'd pay A.J. Burnett a whole lot more
If I had 2 billion dollars
We wouldn't have a consistent winner
But we would have just one winner
Of course we would, it's just simple probability
And buy really expensive middle relievers
That’s right, all the fanciest relie....Paul Quantrill!
Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm

If I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a Moose
(But not a real moose, that's cruel)
And if I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a mercenary
(A Giambi or a Mondesi)
If I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some steroids
(Haven't you always wanted some steroids?)

If I had 2 billion dollars
I’d buy your title

If I had 2 billion dollars, If I had 2 billion dollars
If I had 2 billion dollars, If I had 2 billion dollars
If I had 2 billion dollars
I'd be champs

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