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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Chefs, Bartenders, and a Night out on the Town!

This was too funny to pass up . . .
It is a shameless attempt to promote a website and book. (not mine) I would never stoop so low.

Patti Stanger; No she is not Blond (I would have lost that bet) However, yes the author is single (imagine that...), runs one of these "Reality" shows (shows you how much I watch those things), and is filthy rich (which is probably the real reason she has a boyfriend)... Well, I could think of a couple others, but it's not because of her looks.

Perhaps she should have called it "Dating tips for your Daughter"

But anyway . . .

The Top Ten Places To Find A Great Guy (And The Five Places You Won’t)

Here’s a list of the best places to find that manly man:

1. SPORTS BARS

I know, I know. But if a man is there by himself because his buddies haven’t shown yet, and you know the score of the game that’s on – you just scored yourself some major points! Go by yourself, befriend the bartender, and enjoy the ‘hang out’ atmosphere and who knows what could happen!


a) Wrong! If a guy shows up by himself, he is a lonely looser. Sure, some of his friends might show up later, but there is a reason he is solo.
b) If by some remote chance this does work, at least you know where he will be on Sports Night(s)!
c) Thanks for the tip, If I were single and looking for a career – I’d pick bartender!

2. STEAK HOUSES
Real men eat meat. Many enjoy a good steak and a martini. The bar or lounge area is a great place to hit during Happy Hour!


a) Yup, single men just love to hit on the waitresses, especially after a couple martinis.

3. DRIVING RANGES
Golfers like to hit the range after work or on weekends to take out their frustrations on the ball. Don’t worry; you don’t have to be good. Men love to coach, and feel flattered when you compliment them on how much they’re ‘helping you out”.


a) OK there are sooooo many jokes I could do here dealing with the word swing, iron, shot, wood, and in the hole!
b) But I will not.
c) Would one really want their daughter hanging around angry frustrated guys with clubs?

4. MOVIE THEATRES
Not IN the movie theatre, sitting in the dark, duh! The lines outside – especially for MAN movies (action, horror, westerns, war). Spark up a conversation!


a) So, a single man going to the movies alone, should look for the single woman stalking the lines to see when to cut in and strike up a conversation and score a free ticket!
b) And of course the first place one would want to go with a man you just met would be someplace dark where you were not permitted to talk or turn on your cell phone to call for help!

5. CLASS
Take a class or two at your local community college – something you enjoy (movies, pottery, books, etc). It’s a great place to meet someone with similar interests.


a) Yup this is where all my friends met their wives (in pottery class) (this lady has watched Ghost one too many times), and the reason they took all those continuing education classes!
b) What about the lonely guy teaching the class? Could be just like going golfing, only indoors . .


6. SUSHI BAR
It’s the most common place for men to sit down and eat alone. Don’t ask for a table, sit at the bar and make friends with the chef! Who knows who will sit next to you!


a) Chef and Sushi?
b) Don’t real men eat meat?
c) Tip number 2 – become a Chef.

7. SUPERMARKET
I’m not talking about the cliche of the produce aisle. Go to the prepared food section – most men these days don’t have time to cook. And always go right after work on the weekdays – that’s best pickings! Oh, and a neighborhood market is always better than a giant chain!


a) That’s because all the guys at Giant are married and shopping the Honey Do list.
b) They probably have at least one terrible two or three year old with them as well.

8. INDUSTRY EVENTS
Find out what industry dominates your town, and even if you have only the slightest of interest, show up at the conferences, lectures and promotional events. Then, find out where the parties are afterwards!


a) In a man’s world we call this an escort service.
b) See Craig’s list.
c) I've heard Bartenders and Hotel Clerks get asked for this information as well...
d) Career tip #3 - Hotel Clerks. . .

9. CIGAR BARS
They are becoming increasingly popular. Most women can’t stand the smell, but if you’re one of the lucky ones that can – you’ll have your pick of eligible men!


a) Yup, us men love the smell of a good cigar smoking gal!

10. DOG PARKS
A single guy who takes good care of his dog is usually more open to commitment and responsibility.


a) Wrong! They have a dog because the dog does not care about all the sports bars, cigars, and martini induced nights away.


And a few places not to:

1. AVOID SALONS
Most straight men spend as little time as possible here.


a) And most straight men who do usually have some sort of fetish.

2. AVOID CLUBS
Men usually go there for one thing, and it’s not a relationship.


a) See sports bar and steak houses.

3. AVOID FROZEN YOGURT SHOPS
When’s the last time you heard a guy say, “Hey boys, let’s go get some yogurt! Yeah!”


a) Aren’t these right next to the Sushi Bars?

4. AVOID CRUISE SHIPS
Single, straight men do not go on cruises with their buddies – it’s something they do with a wife or girlfriend.


a) No, but it is where all the new divorcees go to get away and spend all their x’s alimony.

5. AVOID LAUNDROMATS
That’s reserved for fantasies and TV shows. It doesn’t happen. If he’s even moderately successful, he won’t have time to hang out in a laundromat.


a) Yup Dates and Dirty Laundry. That’s a winner in anybodies book!

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